6.21.2002
I feel as if I should expand on my last post...don't really know why...I don't believe anyone actually reads this thing o.o''....
Anyways, I read some new posts by friends, and have come to the conclusion that I could just sneak away quietly and nobody would notice. That I'm just simply not necessary. I serve no purpose to any of my friends. I just exist. Generally, I feel out of the loop. Like I could go to Antarctica and die and nobody would give a flying fuck, save for my family. That just makes me feel soooo much better ~_~...
But, I digress. I shouldn't complain. There are others in far worse situations than myself. To cheer myself up I've been downloading every version of "Over The Rainbow" I can find. I really like Judy Garland's take, and also the extended Ella Fitzgerald version. But I really love Harry Nilsson's version...from the end of You've Got Mail, remember? I also adore the version played at the end of Finding Forrester that is combined with "What A Wonderful World", though I can't for the love of me find who performs it...
I'm getting off track...anyways, this has a point. The song is half depressing/half cheering me up. I feel like Enid from Ghost World, I wanna just get on a bus or in a car or even on a bike and ride off to God-knows-where. If anyone actually does read this, I hope I haven't worried you too much, if at all. I can feel myself getting misty-eyed as I'm writing this, but they seem like happy-enough tears, tears of resolution I think.
I'm okay with being the odd-man-out, the proverbial "fifth wheel" or whatnot. I'm happy for my friends no matter what. They deserve some sincere joy in their lives.
I'm definitely happy to be in Kansas, if only for a moment.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
Anyways, I read some new posts by friends, and have come to the conclusion that I could just sneak away quietly and nobody would notice. That I'm just simply not necessary. I serve no purpose to any of my friends. I just exist. Generally, I feel out of the loop. Like I could go to Antarctica and die and nobody would give a flying fuck, save for my family. That just makes me feel soooo much better ~_~...
But, I digress. I shouldn't complain. There are others in far worse situations than myself. To cheer myself up I've been downloading every version of "Over The Rainbow" I can find. I really like Judy Garland's take, and also the extended Ella Fitzgerald version. But I really love Harry Nilsson's version...from the end of You've Got Mail, remember? I also adore the version played at the end of Finding Forrester that is combined with "What A Wonderful World", though I can't for the love of me find who performs it...
I'm getting off track...anyways, this has a point. The song is half depressing/half cheering me up. I feel like Enid from Ghost World, I wanna just get on a bus or in a car or even on a bike and ride off to God-knows-where. If anyone actually does read this, I hope I haven't worried you too much, if at all. I can feel myself getting misty-eyed as I'm writing this, but they seem like happy-enough tears, tears of resolution I think.
I'm okay with being the odd-man-out, the proverbial "fifth wheel" or whatnot. I'm happy for my friends no matter what. They deserve some sincere joy in their lives.
I'm definitely happy to be in Kansas, if only for a moment.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
6.20.2002
I feel really disconnected right now. I was reading Laura's blog and she talked about all the fun she has with Jesse, Kelli, and Michael. And I don't have stuff like that to talk about. Why? Cause I'm always working and I never get invited to do anything when I'm not. Mind you, this is not a personal attack on anyone...I think maybe it's because I'm actually annoying and stupid and just generally not fun to be around ~_~...
I always seem to end up being the odd-man-out in social situations...everyone's got a buddy except for Meg. And that's what fucking kills me.
Ah well...suppose I shouldn't bitch. Just bite my tongue and hang out in the background. Like always.
Gonna go...I'll post more later...
I always seem to end up being the odd-man-out in social situations...everyone's got a buddy except for Meg. And that's what fucking kills me.
Ah well...suppose I shouldn't bitch. Just bite my tongue and hang out in the background. Like always.
Gonna go...I'll post more later...
6.18.2002
To quote Kelli...
"Boys suck."
Laura knows what I'm talking about...stupid only-wanna-be-fuck-buddies boys >.<'''
Anyways, Anime Mid-Atlantic was sooooo much fun this year. I even got to meet Haze Man! He was really cool ^_^ We talked about Wendy's and Roy Rogers. The cosplay was hilarious again this year, with BloodLust Gone Wrong being my favorite skit of the contest. I am definitely dressing up next year, and I am going to bring Amy and Gretchen too. We're all going to dress up and it's going to be sugoi. I really want to go as a card girl...here's a pic...
Isn't she cute? ^_^ Maybe I can get my friends to go as the other card girls from Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland...that'd be pretty cool.
I hate Eckerd. They change the schedule and never tell me. Supposed to work today..wasn't told that it was changed >.<''
On a happier note, got my license!! ^___^ Yay for me. I actually accomplished something without screwing up. I rule. The summons actually wasn't as long as everyone says it is. I thought we were going to be in there for like two hours...and we got out by 8 O.o'' The police officers were very authoritive. Every five seconds it was "Sir!" or "Ma'am!" It got kinda annoying after a while o.x'' But the judge seemed nice enough ^^"
Okay, I like country music now o.o'' I listen to K95 and sing along with Garth, Brooks and Dunn, Toby Keith, Lonestar, and even Dolly. I actually always loved Dolly Parton - she's so damn cute and her voice is very pretty in a lilting sort of way. I wanna go to DollyWood now O.o''
Now to another random topic...I am proud to be Wiccan. There, just wanted to get that off my chest after reading some rather disrespectful articles -_-...
I really wish I could write like Kelli and Rae...they're always so organized.
Who do need,
Who do you love,
When you come undone?
"Boys suck."
Laura knows what I'm talking about...stupid only-wanna-be-fuck-buddies boys >.<'''
Anyways, Anime Mid-Atlantic was sooooo much fun this year. I even got to meet Haze Man! He was really cool ^_^ We talked about Wendy's and Roy Rogers. The cosplay was hilarious again this year, with BloodLust Gone Wrong being my favorite skit of the contest. I am definitely dressing up next year, and I am going to bring Amy and Gretchen too. We're all going to dress up and it's going to be sugoi. I really want to go as a card girl...here's a pic...
Isn't she cute? ^_^ Maybe I can get my friends to go as the other card girls from Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland...that'd be pretty cool.
I hate Eckerd. They change the schedule and never tell me. Supposed to work today..wasn't told that it was changed >.<''
On a happier note, got my license!! ^___^ Yay for me. I actually accomplished something without screwing up. I rule. The summons actually wasn't as long as everyone says it is. I thought we were going to be in there for like two hours...and we got out by 8 O.o'' The police officers were very authoritive. Every five seconds it was "Sir!" or "Ma'am!" It got kinda annoying after a while o.x'' But the judge seemed nice enough ^^"
Okay, I like country music now o.o'' I listen to K95 and sing along with Garth, Brooks and Dunn, Toby Keith, Lonestar, and even Dolly. I actually always loved Dolly Parton - she's so damn cute and her voice is very pretty in a lilting sort of way. I wanna go to DollyWood now O.o''
Now to another random topic...I am proud to be Wiccan. There, just wanted to get that off my chest after reading some rather disrespectful articles -_-...
I really wish I could write like Kelli and Rae...they're always so organized.
Who do need,
Who do you love,
When you come undone?
